This month of October, I had promised myself to be just plain happy, free from stress and toxicity. However, it’s not possible in reality, self. Breath. I can’t control everything that will happen every single day. Like, I have no power to do so.
Some days I will be so hype and productive, but thereafter I will feel down and gloomy real-quick for superficial reasons. I tried to unplug from social media and Korean-related stuff for a week, and I’ve succeeded around 60%(?). Diversion is the key to detach from my phone addiction, yet I failed about 40%. Honestly, my whole being is not satisfied from what I have done, so I came back again with my usual digital habits. Hence, nonproductive output arose again.
Last week, I read everyday from books to articles, I’m slowly improving and quite progressing with enhancing this skill so far. The way I categorize myself, I’m an extensive type of reader, who reads for pleasure. I’m way too guilty of not digesting every word, idea, and lesson from most of the books that I have read to widen my vocabulary. Sorry, my mind is in calamity state right now. Huhu. However, my dad had constantly reminding me to relax. That simple reminder have had helped me to finish my reading exercise tests less than an hour, that I still have few minutes to double check my answers. Even though, I got 6.0-6.5, I felt relieved because I’m done getting a score of 5!!! ~hopingggg~ *celebrated my mini-success through splurging to foods*
On the other hand, tonight, I’ve realized that I did something unusual from my zone this week. Haha I don’t know what had hit me while chatting on Messenger with my IELTS teacher, that I casually asked him if he didn’t play Overwatch (online game) during his review/study time, and he gave me an honest reply, he did stopped from playing to focus but also came back too soon to his gaming world because if he didn’t, he will lose his sanity. So, I replied to him my exact feelings too, as regard with my Korean-related thing. Haha. Nakakabaliw. It’s difficult to cut your known and fave hobbies while studying, however in order to get things done and ace in the exam, you must do everything in moderation.
In addition, I noticed that I’m not so shy anymore to share my weaknesses and problems within my girl tribe as private as possible. It’s just so touching to know that someone can sincerely listen, support and cheer on me too, same thing from what I’m giving to others. So I wish all of us (yes, still including me) could be more open with each other, that whatever you want to share or talk about, go ahead! Pray to God, Call your family/friend, Blog/Journal it. We must accept that we’re sometimes weak and vulnerable, and it’s okay to ask for help.
To wrap up, my birth date is less than a week from now, and I’m not expecting anything grand at all because I’m being practical and frugal woman version ever. haha! Thankfully, one of my favorite local author had shared a very empowering and motivating blog post right on time before I turned 25y. ON POINT, MGA LODI!!! :’>
Please visit her site, take time to read and reflect here: My (Almost) Quarter Life Crisis
Nj’s Realization101: Giving yourself to serve and make people feel special is one of my simple joys this year. As you noticed, I’m allotting time to make personalized letters and zines to around 30 humans already, and I’m not yet gonna stop, yo! hihi 🙂
Always be grateful 🌷