770 : 24y on 24th ~ 

Before I end this day, as me being my 24 year old self, I would really want to praise God for everything! ❤️

Praise God that I am alive and I can continue to serve you, my family and all your creations. I know that life is full of uncertainties, inequality, imbalance, trials, and negativity, however, I will stand firm and will continue to stay strong for You are always with me amidst of these.

I am glad to be imperfect and full of flaws as I welcome my 25th year tomorrow.. because there will be more room for improvement, for me to grow, learn, and look forward again in my life. 


Thank you Lord for today’s simple joys:

  • Mom’s cheesecake for my birthday! 💛
  • Made burger sandwich with TLC and cream cheese spread for my parents, with complementary orange drinks.
  • Peaceful bonding with family
  • 4th night of praying the rosary with mama
  • BTS shared tonight their BTS RUN ep24!!

Goodnight, universe!
Always be grateful🌷

Love, 

Nj

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764

This month of October, I had promised myself to be just plain happy, free from stress and toxicity. However, it’s not possible in reality, self. Breath. I can’t control everything that will happen every single day. Like, I have no power to do so.

Some days I will be so hype and productive,  but thereafter I will feel down and gloomy real-quick for superficial reasons. I tried to unplug from social media and Korean-related stuff for a week, and I’ve succeeded around 60%(?). Diversion is the key to detach from my phone addiction, yet I failed about 40%. Honestly, my whole being is not satisfied from what I have done, so I came back again with my usual digital habits. Hence, nonproductive output arose again.

Last week, I read everyday from books to articles, I’m slowly improving and quite progressing with enhancing this skill so far. The way I categorize myself, I’m an extensive type of reader, who reads for pleasure. I’m way too guilty of not digesting every word, idea, and lesson from most of the books that I have read  to widen my vocabulary. Sorry, my mind is in calamity state right now. Huhu. However, my dad had constantly reminding me to relax. That simple reminder have had helped me to finish my reading exercise tests less than an hour, that I still have few minutes to double check my answers. Even though, I got 6.0-6.5, I felt relieved because I’m done getting a score of 5!!! ~hopingggg~ *celebrated my mini-success through splurging to foods*

On the other hand, tonight, I’ve realized that I did something unusual from my zone this week. Haha I don’t know what had hit me while chatting on Messenger with my IELTS teacher, that I casually asked him if he didn’t play Overwatch (online game) during his review/study time, and he gave me an honest reply, he did stopped from playing to focus but also came back too soon to his gaming world because if he didn’t, he will lose his sanity. So, I replied to him my exact feelings too, as regard with my Korean-related thing. Haha. Nakakabaliw. It’s difficult to cut your known and fave hobbies while studying, however in order to get things done and ace in the exam, you must do everything in moderation.

In addition, I noticed that I’m not so shy anymore to share my weaknesses and problems within my girl tribe as private as possible. It’s just so touching to know that someone can sincerely listen, support and cheer on me too, same thing from what I’m giving to others. So I wish all of us (yes, still including me) could be more open with each other, that whatever you want to share or talk about, go ahead! Pray to God, Call your family/friend, Blog/Journal it. We must accept that we’re sometimes weak and vulnerable, and it’s okay to ask for help.

To wrap up, my birth date is less than a week from now, and I’m not expecting anything grand at all because I’m being practical and frugal woman version ever. haha! Thankfully, one of my favorite local author had shared a very empowering and motivating blog post right on time before I turned 25y. ON POINT, MGA LODI!!! :’>

Please visit her site, take time to read and reflect here: My (Almost) Quarter Life Crisis

 

Nj’s Realization101: Giving yourself to serve and make people feel special is one of my simple joys this year. As you noticed, I’m allotting time to make personalized letters and zines to around 30 humans already, and I’m not yet gonna stop, yo! hihi 🙂

 

 

Always be grateful 🌷

 

 

Love,

Nj

 

753

Life’s full of temptation. Anybody can easily fall into a certain addiction because of this. However, without realizing and reflecting enough, we fall into sin not because of temptation, but with weak spiritual system.

We, humans, go through different kinds of pain and sadness. Heartbreaking. Depressing. It’s unbearable at times, that’s why we, having these feels, tend to find instant solution to ease our sufferings. We tend to form an escape and rely to wrong choices that will only eventually make us more broken on the inside.

I am not in the position to lecture what to do with these, but let’s just be kind to ourselves. Love ourselves to stand firm with God.

I cry a lot because I sometimes feel hopeless as regard with my family issues but I still love them. During the session at the Feast, I can’t help myself not comparing the situation of my dad and my brother. Self-rejection to self-doubt to self-pity to self-destruction. For now, sorry I will not elaborate anymore.. I still can’t handle it. I hope it’s not too late for my family to be restored emotionally and spiritually. HUHU. I don’t know how to properly approach them with this matter but I pray that God will strengthen my faith that my family is worth-saving for!!!!! ~ My prayer since I’m in high school. Sigh.

To sum up my night, I’m still pretending to be okay at home, even if my dad and brother were not really fine at all. While I was having my Sunday Service at Bluewave, I have no idea that they fought because of our car. ugh. Tomorrow is another day. I hope my brother is mature enough to say sorry and respect my dad. Please.

 

Thank you God,  I know you’re always there for me and my household. I lift up all my pain in my heart. Thank you for this gift of life this week, though I sometimes feel like a failure, you’re there to comfort me and help me stand up all the time. I love you ❤

 

No k-drama, k-pop music and social media until Saturday, self. I must start to focus on my review for IELTS. Hehe. push! See you on Sunday, BTS fam! Eat well and enjoy! Congrats on winning wooh DNA8thwin ~ daebak ~

 

Goodnight, universe!

 

Always be grateful ❤

 

 

Love,

Nj

 

 

 

751 – “Why being lonely isn’t so bad”

“Liking your own company doesn’t have to mean that you’re all alone in the world. Rather, you have yourself. And sometimes that’s enough. 🌷

Solitude 🙌🏻
I completely agree on what I have read tonight. It’s the way you percieve things whether you are alone or not, you are solely responsible for your emotions all throughout the day. You, yourself is completely made. You are enough.

Read this full article (published last year – but thankfully, CNN life retweeted this on Twitter)  **I guessed, I’ve reblogged this here before**

CLICK LINK: why being lonely isn’t so bad

I loved how the writer/blogger greatly pointed out realistic reasons and experiences! Thank you for sharing this!!! I really had spent my alone time in my room after reading this. I felt good. 💖

After my reading subject enhancement class, I stayed here for almost five hours straight. I had my time of my life ~ watching k-drama and real people in and out the coffee shop, enjoying my hot chocolate and snack, reading my reviewer, and gaining a friend, Suzette. 

I went home, decided to jog at MSC, waited 30 minutes on the line. I started to jog around 1840H, had almost 7 laps, got home 1915H 🙂

Thank you Lord for today!!!

Goodnight 😘

Always be grateful 🌷

Love,

Nj

750

Hi! Happy World Teacher’s Day! thank you, teachers and coaches that helped us unconditionally, for us to learn and to strive for progress in life. 
Hmm.. What have I done today? 

(My simple entry for InktoberPH)
I’ve been sitting all day. I’m guilty again of watching k-drama in between of my study breaks, plus this doodle above. Hihi. I watched Age of Youth S2 Ep8-11 🙈 *i love this fam*. So, as I drew this doodle, I’m imagining myself that someday I will have an overlooking view of the skies, sunrise/sunset, and nature either mountains or sea in my room. Wow, I’m looking forward to it, self! 

Now, continue studying and reading tips from IELTS Liz website (very helpful site, thank you Ms. Liz)

Go, go, go! ❤
~ It’s so nice to make someone smile with a simple and sincere birthday greeting. Thank you and Happy Birthday again, Karen! ☺️ hihi. ~ simple joys ~ 
*Even if I am really behind with BTS updates, I kept on streaming Love Yourself Album on Spotify, and voting for you guys!!!! Congrats, fam! I love you! Please eat well hihi ~

Thank you for today, Lord!!! ❤
Goodnight, universe!

Always be grateful 🌷

Love,

Nj

710

August was my bipolar month. I’ve gone my ups and downs of emotions!!!!!! 

I got depressed for a short time. Due to my poor decision skills and I became envious, I can’t help to compare myself to my friends online. I tried to ignore some posts I saw on social media. My notifications from IG and FB were still turned off. I don’t want to be distracted as much as possible. It’s bad to compare yourself, it’s easy to say that, but sometimes, it’s just hard. I want to travel so terribly bad, that I want to go to South Korea, relax in Coron, and chill at Sagada. I haven’t visited any of them. Yep, still at home with my untouched savings. My pain in my left wrist is also adding up to why I’ve been feeling so sad too. In general, I’m frustrated, confused, and uninspired in my life.

But, What’s my turning point? 

I helped myself, to get up and be inspired again, because if not, I will be in nowhere if I continue this gruel phase. In addition, through Purposeful Creative site, that I really love and enjoy listening as of the moment, it helped me to focus, to take one big thing at a time in my life. I have tons of ideas in my head. However, I need to believe that if my idea is for me, it will be. It’s like if what’s meant to be, it will be. I shall be limiting my time on my blog and journal (sorry for now), and I stopped recording on Youtube with my speaking progress for now, because I’m so guilty of not practising my English.
 I added listening to Miss Arianne’s podcast in my daily routine, and I have done my review too. From all her pure posts of inspirations, here I am to pursue my studies to improve my English. I’m glad to attend at other Niner’s branch to learn more and find myself. I still didn’t decide whether I will take UKVI or regular IELTS.. still no final country of destination too. Hmmmm. I’m in no rush. 

Focus. 

Discern. 

Thank you Lord for uplifting me again. August will end, but another month is about to begin. Hello, September! *positivity and braver, self!*
Always be grateful 🌷

Love,

Nj

700th ✨

 Cheers, 700th post! 👏🏼

Today’s simple joys:

  • I did not choose to stay at home despite this rainy and cold weather. I have done my 5th boxing session. 
  • I finally bought an Army bomb version 2 lightstick online.
  • I am healthy and alive! 
  • Thank you Dad for my transpo, my buddy, and the salad.. hihi 
  • I love my family and friends.
  • I love BTS members a lot! Most esp. my baby nochu 😘

Thank you Lord! ❤

Always be grateful 🌷

Love,

Nj