802 – End of 2 0 1 7 ~

Hi, my friend! I’m not 100% okay right now but I still want to create a meaningful post with my 2017 reflections. All of us have our own ups and downs this year, some decided to keep on having a good fight, while others had ended their dark life, and it’s a heart-wrenching fact. I don’t know if I can organize my thoughts here, well just bear with me.

Let’s start.

Honestly, I’ve been confused and undecided throughout 2017 but still I pushed myself to not renew my work contract in Saudi Arabia and packed all my things back to the Philippines due to infinite reasons. I’m not so sure with my future even if I have backup plans on my mind, plans A to Z. Oh my, quarter-life crisis, self, this is just the beginning. However, I started to realize that everything, everything is in God’s timetable. My unemployed self  for almost six months is still a blessing in disguise, most esp. until my grandmother’s last breath, I was able to serve and stay by her side. Oh I miss you lola Belen.. I’m so sorry for blaming people and hurting myself even more. I will continue to help myself to move on and to forgive. You will always have a special space in my heart.

On the latter part, this year was full of  learning and self-love. I was able to overcome my laziness, doubts and depressed phase. Even though I didn’t travel much; didn’t received any awards or attended to many parties, events, and concerts; didn’t get my target scores in IELTS’ Speaking and Writing exam; didn’t get a job after my resignation; didn’t get a boyfriend (haha lol standards); didn’t helped my family much this year, all in all – I didn’t excelled much compare to others, (I hate comparing stuff and having trust issues esp. to people but why I kept on doing this to myself.), I have to accept these and must forgive my weak self. As I look back, I want to give myself a gentle pat on the back for doing just fine amidst of these matter. I’m not crying anymore because it’s useless to cry over a spilled milk, instead I just need to fill it up again. I need to be tougher and kinder to myself and continue what I had begun, my life goals and the Feast fellowship. I’m glad to find my creative self again this year and I’m grateful to join and serve at the Feast. So from all the learning and motivation I got from my sister, parents, friends (Sym, Iya, Janet, Grace, Cheryl, Janelle, Marissa, Owdy and Karla), Bro. Bo Sanchez, preachers, IELTS teachers, youtube vloggers (Jordan Clark, Kris Lumagui, AC, and Laureen Uy) and multi-talented artists (BTS, Abbey Sy, Arianne Serafico), I’m immensely in debt with all of you forever! ❀

Before I sum it up, I also want to thank each and every one of you who visited and followed my blog for six years!!!! It’s never easy to blog everyday, but at least I tried for several months! Although I’m not so consistent (huhu) I failed to post daily for the last two months of 2017, but I didn’t fail you today.

Life will always have a significant blend of happiness and sadness. It can be overwhelming and unbearable. I can’t guarantee if I can live long, only God knows. however I will always choose to fight my inner battles and appreciate bit by bit all the “simple joys” that makes me ultimately happy every day.


Bye, 2017!

Treat yourself and choose to love yourself more ❀


HAPPY NEW YEAR, FRIENDS! To more simple joys and positive vibes in my gigantic universe ~


Always be grateful πŸŒ·





703 – one big thing at a time

How to focus when you have too many passions and ideas

**Please take time to click the link above:

I’m definitely guilty with this article. I can’t focus that it made me so sad and confused. What I’m going to do with this life?? I’m nearly turning 25 on the next couple of months, and hello quarter-life crisis. Honestly, I felt like I’m in that phase already. I quit my job without any definite plan, but a plentiful of ideas in my mind. What to priority first, and so on, then I don’t know.


I’m not a wonder woman. Based from my previous blog posts, I always tell myself that I wanted to this and that. I liked to start all things at the same time, that I ended up doing nothing at all, or if I tried to do so, I’m not excelling enough. This article woke my creative soul up, don’t procrastinate dearest self. Take things one at a time. “One big thing at a time” as I quoted Ms. Arriane.


These are the lists that I’m so passionate about ever since…. in no particular order:

  • Blogging/ Writing
  • Drawing/ Journalling
  • Reading Books
  • Calligraphy
  • Travelling
  • Photography
  • Playing a piano
  • Painting
  • Doing D.I.Y. crafts
  • Volunteer Works/Service thru Medical Missions
  • Teaching


Even I cannot understand why I’m so drawn with different aspects of creating an ART, wherein we can all uniquely express ourselves. I’m not so good with my decision-making skills until now. But I don’t want all of these passion inside me to go to graveyard or waste. I have learned the three month rule in this article. Three months to focus on this, and so on. Go and follow where your passion will bring you.


In addition, I got inspired with these..

β€œNo for now, I’ll revisit you later and give you the focus you deserve.”


β€œNo for now, I’ll revisit you later and give you the focus you deserve.”


β€œNo for now, I’ll revisit you later and give you the focus you deserve.”

*****reminders, self. FOCUS. FOCUS. FOCUS.

I’m a big believer that if an idea is meant for you, it will wait.Β (If you haven’t read it yet, Elizabeth Gilbert’s book β€˜Big Magic’ elaborates on this in beautiful detail and provides lots of inspiring examples.) — I want to read this book too!!!!

***I’m sincerely grateful to God for bringing someone in my life, an online coach, that enriches our creative inner self for free thru her blog posts and podcasts. I’m your fan, Ms. Arriane ❀


As much as I want to have a better and meaningful posts by blogging every single day, I have to accept my flaws and short-comings as a human that I cannot published one on a daily basis. I just need to be gentle with my simple joys in heaven. Even if no one really cares at all, Β I will still pursue this platform. Hence, by utilizing this tool, I can track my progress in life, how I grow as a blogger, writer, and an author of my existence.


To sum it all up, one step at a time.


Keep having faith and move forward and forward.


Always be grateful 🌷







676 – Teacher πŸ“š

Yes, you are poor but you can dream and work hard. You can get out from that cell that stopping you not to grow or change your life. You have to make a stand. It’s a hard battle and rough path. You gotta be strong. Have faith that your circle will support you in time, the least you expect it. You gotta experience being down before you taste real success. All of these down moments, these will all mold you up. Only way up, and forward to success. No matter how educated or successful you’ll be. Don’t forget your roots. Don’t ever belittle anybody. Nobody has the right to belittle any single human being in this universe. Stay humble. Live gratefully and with grace. Workhard to grow and to never stop learning in this life. I support Education, as equal as I give importance to our Health. 

Learning. Reflections.

I’ve watched today’s episode of #MMKPrideandJoy and Brigada. Both of them shared how essential Education is. I’m very grateful in my life that I’ve gave importance on my studies before anything else, like being in a relationship – for example. My parents really worked hard so I must pay what they deserve. It’s okay to get tired and tired while studying, but you must never ever give up your Education, dears. Education is a gold investment that your parents sacrificed everything for you to get one! 
I got really teary-eyed, when the Father doesn’t support his Son’s dream to be a teacher at first, but then, the father knew the story of his son’s hardwork and how he was belittle by his Auntie (Father side). His father gone mad with his sister. His Father just became proud of his son. Oh, men were not so vocal, but they’re really love and protecting each other. Given fact that your family will always be your source of strength. Strength, to push you towards your goal coz its really fulfilling that your family support you. Huhu. Teacher Roy, Thank you for sharing your inspiring story! #MMKPrideandJoy πŸ‘ŒπŸΌπŸ‘ŒπŸΌπŸ‘ŒπŸΌπŸ‘ŒπŸΌ

From Brigada, I was awakened again to my dream to teach kids passionately 😒 Miss Celine was a teacher in Laguna. She was a bookworm ever since. She has a daughter who got influenced too from Technologies but now grown to love books after Celine read a book everyday for her daughter. Celine got motivated to teach other kids during summer season, and since school has started, she has session every Saturday for them. “Kwentuhan sa Wawa.” As I remember the name of her project. She can alot her time, effort, and money just to teach and serve kids. She wanted all kids to learn how to read thru her simple movement. *very inspiring, Teacher Celine!! πŸ™ŒπŸΌπŸ™ŒπŸΌ

Two of the episodes I watched today were Teachers. Real talk: I’ve wanted to become a teacher too. Passionate teacher such as Miss Sabrina OngKiko. 

To love and to serve the public. Every student deserves a good teacher. 

β€” Sabrina Ongkiko 

I’m very grateful today: I chose to alot time for my family and friends! Catch-up, done!

Thank you Lord!!! πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–


Always be grateful 🌷



640 – my k.s.a diaries

In the mood today to share my story, just wanted to open up, might as well be helpful on freeing heavy weight in my heart and motivate at least one human being, reading this. As of the moment, I’m typing in note app on my phone, lying on our shared king-sized bed, covered up again with my thick blanket because it’s cold in our room and I don’t want to be seen by my roommate and I don’t want to be distracted. Just me, and my thoughts. My real story.
Reasons why I’ve decided to work in KSA:

  • I’m tired of working hard with a small salary in a stressful environment. I wanted to have growth in my nursing career. I wanted to challenge myself even if I only have my two years clinical experience and months of volunteering. I took risk and step out of my comfort zone. 
  • I wanted to follow my sister in KSA. I don’t know if she knew that even if I have my best friends, I’m always attached with my sister. As much as possible, I never wanted to be separated with her. But she’s always the mature, strong but soft-hearted, and independent woman that I’ve known. She always wanted to leave out in our house because of her work distance from our house. That’s an excuse also for my sister to enjoy her youth, the fact of being away from the sight of our strict dad, so I understand her. But you know, I’m always sad whenever she’s leaving.. she’s like my second mom, most esp. when our mom is not always around. 
  • Of course.. to earn more money. I didn’t came to a poor family, only in middle-class as they called it. My mom is the bread winner, she’s working as nurse at Kuwait ever since she was in her twenty something until now; while my dad is just at home for the longest time I’ve known since we’re a baby with no interest to work again ever, his main role at home is to take care os us, me and my siblings. I’m a frugal type of person, but if I’m with my favorite human, I can spend like a princess. I’m not a fan of credit card and debts. I value money that’s why I saved a lot, at times.. Among my siblings, I have a lot of savings compare to them when we were studying.. my siblings always spend a lot on stuff that’s not important using our mom’s hard-earned money. I study hard to make my parents proud at me esp. my mom who’s very hardworking. We’re not poor as I told you, but I even applied for grant-in scholarship when I was in college. Money is the devil to most families, also to us. Money is always an issue in our household. I always cry like a baby. I hate it. I hate myself for the fact that because of money, responsibilities at home, the sight of my dad and brother fighting and disrespecting each other, and my dad who’s having self-pity almost every day, I ran out, I escape, and pushed myself to work here alone, all by myself through application, registration, flying here, going to my assigned hospital and room, until I resigned, I will still go home alone. But I appreciated now the art of being alone. There’s a good thing I learned and discovered about myself while being alone. 

My silent struggles in KSA:

  • A lot!!!! Like language barrier #1, being and living independently, wearing a tarha/hijab, can’t access my Spotify, eating my fave foods, controlling my wanderlust peg to travel, adapting alone for three months, adapting with my flatmates, sharing stuff with my flatmates, walking or doing errand outside alone day/night, not so good accommodation – food allowance/mess money/budget and transportation, unfair treatment of doctors to nurses, toxic duties, mental health, physical health, spiritual practice, social skills, creepy Saudi men, even teenagers!!! And homesickness maybe 10%.. in addition, it’s also a struggle to be a fangirl here, maybe 30%!!! And manyyyy more to mention.. Everyday I struggle but I will not tackle in every detail.. maybe someday if I can able to share it without any hesitation or doubt.. coz we all do struggle, it’s part of life and it’s part of our growth. No pain, no gain.

Reasons why I will not renew my contract and decided to quit my secured job:

  • I’m not genuinely happy.
  • I do not deserve this.
  • Safety is a must priority, *females!!
  • I am more than deserving for better growth and opportunities out there.
  • I decided to enjoy my youth by giving myself an early birthday gift, to choose joy and follow my dreams. I’m still confused and frustrated right now, but I hope I can figure it out and be fully ready on what I really want to do for the next years to come. 
  • I am not a slave for money and for the fact that they refused to give my employment certificate if I didn’t serve here for three years minimum. WTH. Imagine working in a month with only six days off, I heard some MOH with only four days off in a month, as in whaaaat!!!!!?? OMG. Luckily, I have a privilege for extra offs from my kind head nurse. That extra off was the accumulated extra hours of work. For example, in a week you have a total of eight hours overtime, so it will be one day extra off. Coz overtime pay here is zero SR. Charity for some areas. 
  • I’m not quitting because I can’t do this job anymore being a premature charge nurse and because of toxicity or what, coz we all know it’s part of the course.. *sometimes I can just sit on my duty doing nothing, and watching k-dramas, that’s our benign days goes. I just don’t want to be ignorant anymore of the language barrier among my patients and health team. I learned only basic Arabic, yes I survived but I still can’t properly teach proper education on my patients for example.

Of course there’s something I loved here in KSA, Southern region to be specific:

  • I really love the nice and cool weather here. I think I am born during cold season that’s why I was able to adapt really well. I didn’t got sick like common colds and cough, tonsillitis, diarrhea-like, fever and the ill-symptoms when you’re stressed. NEVER. Thank you God!!! Actually, I gained fat. I’m that kinda hiyang talaga here. 
  • Internet access – STC. Sometimes it’s craaaappyyyy but it’s way better than our connection in PH.. kdrama pa more!!!!!! Fangirl pa more!! Stream pa more!!! *I always got a message that I consumed my data faster than expected or usual. Hehe oh! serry. 
  • The abaya dress, because I can wear my PJs all day and night when going OUT even I didn’t took a bath. Haha! But I don’t like wearing tarha/hijab!!! My face is very different if I wear those. 
  • I’m happy that I’ve met and gained sisters here, our kabayan, then Indian, and Saudis. They said, we can be friends to all but only trust a few.. that’s so true.. I’m thankful that I’ve met Bessy Cheryl and Ate Grace here. I will do cherish and keep in touch the most to them when I will fly back to PH soooon πŸ’–

~ Before I end this sharing, I also want to tell that right now, I’m experiencing God’s delays, coz supposed to be I must be on my home country before this month ends.. but still I haven’t booked my return ticket, my passport’s not with me, not applied yet for bank clearance needed for my exit visa. All in hold because of this holiday’s celebration. Wow lang, diba? But I MUST HOLD ON TO GOD, HAVE FAITH IN HIM THAT IN EVERY THING I AM EXPERIENCING AS OF THIS MOMENT HAS A PURPOSE!!!!! Kakapit lang me, at makakauwi rin naman tayo, self

Thanks for reading!

Always be grateful 🌷




Archive of my day β€” September 19, 2016 @2017H. (Throwback post for today as I browse my phone’s notes.)

Today was a toxic morning shift but still keeping myself positive that with God I can do all things all throughout my shift.. Huhuhu I did!! Thanks po!! πŸ™‚ 
Almost 1 month exposure at gyne ward so far.. difficulty level 7/10 :/

Total: 13 – 1 Syrian, 1 Sudan, 11 Saudi.

Received 6 patients, 1 admission. 1 discharge. Thanks to my colleagues and head nurse who helped me. Only 2 staff nurse on duty, 1 senior nurse, 1 head nurse, 1 pullout from HDU, 1 nurse intern. And, me, just a novice nurse. Run there, and there. Huhu. No breaks!! 

Realization 101: I would never learn if I will depend on others. Sometimes, I really need to experience everything on my own. 
Witnessed my two patient having severe pain and with both hands stiffening. Crying in pain. 😦 

Patient A, first time to extract blood at left hand. Then, I inserted iv cannula. Calcium gluconate and primpran saved my patient, thank you Lord! Potassium administered thereafter.

Patient B, first time to insert foley catheter. First time to shift my patient at OR for emergency laparotomy. Hoping my patient is fine and stable now. I held and warmed her hands. I reassure her that God is with her. I smiled, taught her deep breathing exercises. Warmed her feet, too. She is really in pain, all I can do is to be with her. I’m about to cry. I forgot to return her ring, so I went back to our hospital as fast as I could. But I still waited for an hour because no driver came early.. huhu what a day.. I even walked home alone for the first time. I am very scared. Grateful to God who never leaves and abandon me. 
All for God!!! Thank youuu!




Day ninety-four – 100 Happy Days

2-10pm shift again with Ma’am H! Hooray! For benign duty! Hehe! :> slightly adapting to some routines already except for documentation part. Hoho πŸ™‚ Aja to meee!