Hi, my friend! I’m not 100% okay right now but I still want to create a meaningful post with my 2017 reflections. All of us have our own ups and downs this year, some decided to keep on having a good fight, while others had ended their dark life, and it’s a heart-wrenching fact. I don’t know if I can organize my thoughts here, well just bear with me.
Honestly, I’ve been confused and undecided throughout 2017 but still I pushed myself to not renew my work contract in Saudi Arabia and packed all my things back to the Philippines due to infinite reasons. I’m not so sure with my future even if I have backup plans on my mind, plans A to Z. Oh my, quarter-life crisis, self, this is just the beginning. However, I started to realize that everything, everything is in God’s timetable. My unemployed self for almost six months is still a blessing in disguise, most esp. until my grandmother’s last breath, I was able to serve and stay by her side. Oh I miss you lola Belen.. I’m so sorry for blaming people and hurting myself even more. I will continue to help myself to move on and to forgive. You will always have a special space in my heart.
On the latter part, this year was full of learning and self-love. I was able to overcome my laziness, doubts and depressed phase. Even though I didn’t travel much; didn’t received any awards or attended to many parties, events, and concerts; didn’t get my target scores in IELTS’ Speaking and Writing exam; didn’t get a job after my resignation; didn’t get a boyfriend (haha lol standards); didn’t helped my family much this year, all in all – I didn’t excelled much compare to others, (I hate comparing stuff and having trust issues esp. to people but why I kept on doing this to myself.), I have to accept these and must forgive my weak self. As I look back, I want to give myself a gentle pat on the back for doing just fine amidst of these matter. I’m not crying anymore because it’s useless to cry over a spilled milk, instead I just need to fill it up again. I need to be tougher and kinder to myself and continue what I had begun, my life goals and the Feast fellowship. I’m glad to find my creative self again this year and I’m grateful to join and serve at the Feast. So from all the learning and motivation I got from my sister, parents, friends (Sym, Iya, Janet, Grace, Cheryl, Janelle, Marissa, Owdy and Karla), Bro. Bo Sanchez, preachers, IELTS teachers, youtube vloggers (Jordan Clark, Kris Lumagui, AC, and Laureen Uy) and multi-talented artists (BTS, Abbey Sy, Arianne Serafico), I’m immensely in debt with all of you forever! ❤
Before I sum it up, I also want to thank each and every one of you who visited and followed my blog for six years!!!! It’s never easy to blog everyday, but at least I tried for several months! Although I’m not so consistent (huhu) I failed to post daily for the last two months of 2017, but I didn’t fail you today.
Life will always have a significant blend of happiness and sadness. It can be overwhelming and unbearable. I can’t guarantee if I can live long, only God knows. however I will always choose to fight my inner battles and appreciate bit by bit all the “simple joys” that makes me ultimately happy every day.
Treat yourself and choose to love yourself more ❤
HAPPY NEW YEAR, FRIENDS! To more simple joys and positive vibes in my gigantic universe ~
Always be grateful 🌷