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Life’s full of temptation. Anybody can easily fall into a certain addiction because of this. However, without realizing and reflecting enough, we fall into sin not because of temptation, but with weak spiritual system.

We, humans, go through different kinds of pain and sadness. Heartbreaking. Depressing. It’s unbearable at times, that’s why we, having these feels, tend to find instant solution to ease our sufferings.Β We tend to form an escape and rely to wrong choices that will only eventually make us more broken on the inside.

I am not in the position to lecture what to do with these, but let’s just be kind to ourselves. Love ourselves to stand firm with God.

I cry a lot because I sometimes feel hopeless as regard with my family issues but I still love them. During the session at the Feast, I can’t help myself not comparing the situation of my dad and my brother. Self-rejection to self-doubt to self-pity to self-destruction. For now, sorry I will not elaborate anymore.. I still can’t handle it. I hope it’s not too late for my family to be restored emotionally and spiritually. HUHU. I don’t know how to properly approach them with this matter but I pray that God will strengthen my faith that my family is worth-saving for!!!!! ~ My prayer since I’m in high school. Sigh.

To sum up my night, I’m still pretending to be okay at home, even if my dad and brother were not really fine at all. While I was having my Sunday Service at Bluewave, I have no idea that they fought because of our car. ugh. Tomorrow is another day. I hope my brother is mature enough to say sorry and respect my dad. Please.

 

Thank you God,Β  I know you’re always there for me and my household. I lift up all my pain in my heart. Thank you for this gift of life this week, though I sometimes feel like a failure, you’re there to comfort me and help me stand up all the time. I love you ❀

 

No k-drama, k-pop music and social media until Saturday, self. I must start to focus on my review for IELTS. Hehe. push! See you on Sunday, BTS fam! Eat well and enjoy! Congrats on winning wooh DNA8thwin ~ daebak ~

 

Goodnight, universe!

 

Always be grateful ❀

 

 

Love,

Nj

 

 

 

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676 – Teacher πŸ“š

Yes, you are poor but you can dream and work hard. You can get out from that cell that stopping you not to grow or change your life. You have to make a stand. It’s a hard battle and rough path. You gotta be strong. Have faith that your circle will support you in time, the least you expect it. You gotta experience being down before you taste real success. All of these down moments, these will all mold you up. Only way up, and forward to success. No matter how educated or successful you’ll be. Don’t forget your roots. Don’t ever belittle anybody. Nobody has the right to belittle any single human being in this universe. Stay humble. Live gratefully and with grace. Workhard to grow and to never stop learning in this life. I support Education, as equal as I give importance to our Health. 

Learning. Reflections.

I’ve watched today’s episode of #MMKPrideandJoy and Brigada. Both of them shared how essential Education is. I’m very grateful in my life that I’ve gave importance on my studies before anything else, like being in a relationship – for example. My parents really worked hard so I must pay what they deserve. It’s okay to get tired and tired while studying, but you must never ever give up your Education, dears. Education is a gold investment that your parents sacrificed everything for you to get one! 
I got really teary-eyed, when the Father doesn’t support his Son’s dream to be a teacher at first, but then, the father knew the story of his son’s hardwork and how he was belittle by his Auntie (Father side). His father gone mad with his sister. His Father just became proud of his son. Oh, men were not so vocal, but they’re really love and protecting each other. Given fact that your family will always be your source of strength. Strength, to push you towards your goal coz its really fulfilling that your family support you. Huhu. Teacher Roy, Thank you for sharing your inspiring story! #MMKPrideandJoy πŸ‘ŒπŸΌπŸ‘ŒπŸΌπŸ‘ŒπŸΌπŸ‘ŒπŸΌ

From Brigada, I was awakened again to my dream to teach kids passionately 😒 Miss Celine was a teacher in Laguna. She was a bookworm ever since. She has a daughter who got influenced too from Technologies but now grown to love books after Celine read a book everyday for her daughter. Celine got motivated to teach other kids during summer season, and since school has started, she has session every Saturday for them. “Kwentuhan sa Wawa.” As I remember the name of her project. She can alot her time, effort, and money just to teach and serve kids. She wanted all kids to learn how to read thru her simple movement. *very inspiring, Teacher Celine!! πŸ™ŒπŸΌπŸ™ŒπŸΌ

Two of the episodes I watched today were Teachers. Real talk: I’ve wanted to become a teacher too. Passionate teacher such as Miss Sabrina OngKiko. 

To love and to serve the public. Every student deserves a good teacher. 

β€” Sabrina Ongkiko 

I’m very grateful today: I chose to alot time for my family and friends! Catch-up, done!

Thank you Lord!!! πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–πŸ’–

Goodnight! 

Always be grateful 🌷

Love,

Nj

668 – Sophia’s artwork 01

When will a person change his behavior towards his daughter? He loves her as he told everyone in the crowd but no pure action of that so called love. 😫 If he’s mad, he’s annoyingly mad. He can’t give love and care selflessly. Haaaay, grow up pls. 

I really missed you, Sophia, your presence made me simply happy. I admire how you initiate to draw and color in the middle of the night. I love you. I hope my brother will be a good father to you soon. So soon that he may be responsible enough to take care of you. You are our precious princess. 
Sharing Sophia’s artworks! πŸ™ŒπŸΌπŸ™ŒπŸΌπŸ™ŒπŸΌ


(From first row, I drew then she colored all of them. Then to second row, she drew and colored them all. Good job, Sophia!)



Your parents must be proud and appreciate these, but they were busy with each other’s separate lives. 😞 Instead, let me keep these, I hope someday you look back to your drawings with me. I love you. ❀️



Love,

Nj

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I am grateful I am alive and I am healthy. All for God’s glory! πŸ™ŒπŸΌ

Today’s simple joys:

  • Watched Fight my Way’s Episode 11 & 12!! I got butterflies and lot of giggles from Dong Man and Ae Ra! But I got affected too much on Sul Hee’s emotional heartbreaking scene and to Father-Son moments of Dong Man!! Huhu! (I really wanted that someday my dad and my brother will have that deep conversation too someday, that my brother will respect my dad’s advices and lessons.. haaay) I really loved what his father adviced to Dong Man, “You can’t save your youth anyway. So, fight, take challenges even if you got beaten, live the life you wanted, okay?” I cried!!! Seeing your parents cry. 😭
  • I also loved this Dong Man!!! – “If growing up means your dreams fade, I’ll give up on growing up. There’s no need to pretend to be grown up for others” – real talk huhu
  • Me and my dad were in good terms already like nothing happened yesterday.. (story: I got irritated with him because he kept on calling and saying rants ughhh *my bad, sorry dad.. I just can’t tolerate many negativity yesterday!!!)
  • Everyday catch-up with my sister, *much longer time for VC today.
  • Went out at Aseer Mall with Ate Analyn, Grace, Angelica, and Cheryl. 
  • I bought one knitted cardigan, two branded watches for sale and two perfumes. Got me 267SR!!
  • Ate dinner with my flatmates, plus we shared table with Ate Leslie and Ate Aileen. Burgerl meal x chicken for dinner.
  • Watched ROS Song Triplets Ep6&7!!!! Cuties forever. The mud. The meals. The bday gift. The torch. πŸ’–
  • First time to try Fresh Burger’s Burger meal for 20SR, as my midnight snack. It was good esp. the bun and the fries’ sauce. #thisiswhyImFat

Thank you Lord for today!!!!

Goodnight!

Always be grateful 🌷

Love,

Nj 

640 – my k.s.a diaries

In the mood today to share my story, just wanted to open up, might as well be helpful on freeing heavy weight in my heart and motivate at least one human being, reading this. As of the moment, I’m typing in note app on my phone, lying on our shared king-sized bed, covered up again with my thick blanket because it’s cold in our room and I don’t want to be seen by my roommate and I don’t want to be distracted. Just me, and my thoughts. My real story.
Reasons why I’ve decided to work in KSA:

  • I’m tired of working hard with a small salary in a stressful environment. I wanted to have growth in my nursing career. I wanted to challenge myself even if I only have my two years clinical experience and months of volunteering. I took risk and step out of my comfort zone. 
  • I wanted to follow my sister in KSA. I don’t know if she knew that even if I have my best friends, I’m always attached with my sister. As much as possible, I never wanted to be separated with her. But she’s always the mature, strong but soft-hearted, and independent woman that I’ve known. She always wanted to leave out in our house because of her work distance from our house. That’s an excuse also for my sister to enjoy her youth, the fact of being away from the sight of our strict dad, so I understand her. But you know, I’m always sad whenever she’s leaving.. she’s like my second mom, most esp. when our mom is not always around. 
  • Of course.. to earn more money. I didn’t came to a poor family, only in middle-class as they called it. My mom is the bread winner, she’s working as nurse at Kuwait ever since she was in her twenty something until now; while my dad is just at home for the longest time I’ve known since we’re a baby with no interest to work again ever, his main role at home is to take care os us, me and my siblings. I’m a frugal type of person, but if I’m with my favorite human, I can spend like a princess. I’m not a fan of credit card and debts. I value money that’s why I saved a lot, at times.. Among my siblings, I have a lot of savings compare to them when we were studying.. my siblings always spend a lot on stuff that’s not important using our mom’s hard-earned money. I study hard to make my parents proud at me esp. my mom who’s very hardworking. We’re not poor as I told you, but I even applied for grant-in scholarship when I was in college. Money is the devil to most families, also to us. Money is always an issue in our household. I always cry like a baby. I hate it. I hate myself for the fact that because of money, responsibilities at home, the sight of my dad and brother fighting and disrespecting each other, and my dad who’s having self-pity almost every day, I ran out, I escape, and pushed myself to work here alone, all by myself through application, registration, flying here, going to my assigned hospital and room, until I resigned, I will still go home alone. But I appreciated now the art of being alone. There’s a good thing I learned and discovered about myself while being alone. 

My silent struggles in KSA:

  • A lot!!!! Like language barrier #1, being and living independently, wearing a tarha/hijab, can’t access my Spotify, eating my fave foods, controlling my wanderlust peg to travel, adapting alone for three months, adapting with my flatmates, sharing stuff with my flatmates, walking or doing errand outside alone day/night, not so good accommodation – food allowance/mess money/budget and transportation, unfair treatment of doctors to nurses, toxic duties, mental health, physical health, spiritual practice, social skills, creepy Saudi men, even teenagers!!! And homesickness maybe 10%.. in addition, it’s also a struggle to be a fangirl here, maybe 30%!!! And manyyyy more to mention.. Everyday I struggle but I will not tackle in every detail.. maybe someday if I can able to share it without any hesitation or doubt.. coz we all do struggle, it’s part of life and it’s part of our growth. No pain, no gain.

Reasons why I will not renew my contract and decided to quit my secured job:

  • I’m not genuinely happy.
  • I do not deserve this.
  • Safety is a must priority, *females!!
  • I am more than deserving for better growth and opportunities out there.
  • I decided to enjoy my youth by giving myself an early birthday gift, to choose joy and follow my dreams. I’m still confused and frustrated right now, but I hope I can figure it out and be fully ready on what I really want to do for the next years to come. 
  • I am not a slave for money and for the fact that they refused to give my employment certificate if I didn’t serve here for three years minimum. WTH. Imagine working in a month with only six days off, I heard some MOH with only four days off in a month, as in whaaaat!!!!!?? OMG. Luckily, I have a privilege for extra offs from my kind head nurse. That extra off was the accumulated extra hours of work. For example, in a week you have a total of eight hours overtime, so it will be one day extra off. Coz overtime pay here is zero SR. Charity for some areas. 
  • I’m not quitting because I can’t do this job anymore being a premature charge nurse and because of toxicity or what, coz we all know it’s part of the course.. *sometimes I can just sit on my duty doing nothing, and watching k-dramas, that’s our benign days goes. I just don’t want to be ignorant anymore of the language barrier among my patients and health team. I learned only basic Arabic, yes I survived but I still can’t properly teach proper education on my patients for example.

Of course there’s something I loved here in KSA, Southern region to be specific:

  • I really love the nice and cool weather here. I think I am born during cold season that’s why I was able to adapt really well. I didn’t got sick like common colds and cough, tonsillitis, diarrhea-like, fever and the ill-symptoms when you’re stressed. NEVER. Thank you God!!! Actually, I gained fat. I’m that kinda hiyang talaga here. 
  • Internet access – STC. Sometimes it’s craaaappyyyy but it’s way better than our connection in PH.. kdrama pa more!!!!!! Fangirl pa more!! Stream pa more!!! *I always got a message that I consumed my data faster than expected or usual. Hehe oh! serry. 
  • The abaya dress, because I can wear my PJs all day and night when going OUT even I didn’t took a bath. Haha! But I don’t like wearing tarha/hijab!!! My face is very different if I wear those. 
  • I’m happy that I’ve met and gained sisters here, our kabayan, then Indian, and Saudis. They said, we can be friends to all but only trust a few.. that’s so true.. I’m thankful that I’ve met Bessy Cheryl and Ate Grace here. I will do cherish and keep in touch the most to them when I will fly back to PH soooon πŸ’–

~ Before I end this sharing, I also want to tell that right now, I’m experiencing God’s delays, coz supposed to be I must be on my home country before this month ends.. but still I haven’t booked my return ticket, my passport’s not with me, not applied yet for bank clearance needed for my exit visa. All in hold because of this holiday’s celebration. Wow lang, diba? But I MUST HOLD ON TO GOD, HAVE FAITH IN HIM THAT IN EVERY THING I AM EXPERIENCING AS OF THIS MOMENT HAS A PURPOSE!!!!! Kakapit lang me, at makakauwi rin naman tayo, self

Thanks for reading!

Always be grateful 🌷

Love,

Nj

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Hello, June!! Hi, Nam-June! Big hit!!!! ✨





It’s been half of the year alreadyyyy!! So fasttt!!! And why everytime I saw this family, my heart just melts with happiness and reminds me that dreams really do come true!!!! ✨

Advance Happy 4th Anniversary, BTS! πŸ‘‘

#2017BTSFESTA πŸ’–
As a team bahay from KSA, I’ll just die with kilig from all of BTS and ARMYs posts for now!!! 

Love,

Nj

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19032017 ✨

One beautiful woman that has a special space in my heart is celebrating her life anniversary today. She loves Hello Kitty, pink stuff, beauty cosmetics, watching TV and Korean dramas, surfing the net, listening to music, traveling, shopping, playing games, and etc. She doesn’t love to read books, extreme rides, and hiking. She can be both happy and irritated on little things. She often have enemies and suitors in her school before. She both have crazy and girly group of friends. I can remember when and why she got her first period because she was really excited on Meteor Garden’s first episode aired May 5, 2003. Before, we’re both fans of F4 and Arashi. We both love to listen on Korean drama OSTs, MYMP, and Silent Sanctuary. She used to watch beauty vlogs on Youtube channel like Michelle Phan, and many others. She sometimes experimented my face when practicing make-up. Hence, my hair also, when she started to learn how to properly curl and straighten hair. She used to have eyeglasses before since grade school. She used contact lenses too, when she started in her College years. She’s a shifter, before she tried Nursing for a year, but thereafter she enrolled course on Tourism. She’s always on makeup, though she’s beautiful even without it. She’s the girly-chic type, but at home, she sometimes likes messy room because she’s lazy to clean up. Often times, she’s lazy doing household chores. She’s not into planner or journal, she can start it for months, but can’t finish it until year ends. She can be both clingy and moody. If she’s mad, she can really hate you because she can’t control her anger at times. But then, she will feel guilty and sorry. She has a soft-spot, so she can always forgives. She loves our family so dearly. She doesn’t smoke. She’s an occasional drinker. She lived her youthful years with fun, confusion, and love. We both love to go out together or with our group of friends rather than to go home straight after school. We do play crazily while waiting for our father to fetch us in school, I remembered when we’re both playing, then suddenly I got startled with her so she pulled my long hair and I lost my balance so I fell on the ground. We’re both laughing hard. We both got addicted playing games before. She likes Sims, Adventure of Spyro and Lomax, Crash Bandicot, Metal Slug, Bomberman, Harvest Moon, Super Mario Bros, Geo Map Challenge, Pet Society, Restaurant City, Farmville, L4D, and Counterstrike. She’s not into sports. She rarely perform on stage. I remembered we both performed interpretative dance the same day at school, she’s on 6th grade that they’re group danced “We Are One”, while I’m on 5th grade, our group danced “Sa’yo Lamang”. Before, I always asked her to play games with me, like singing random songs until we can’t think anymore, saying the brand/advertisement during commercials, and other simple games to kill time and boredom, she always lose and get tired of my silly games. I really miss our bonding moments together at our home. 
I’m proud of her ever since. She’s strong and independent woman. Though, she’s fine having passing grades and had difficulties on finding a job before, still she didn’t gave up and lose hope. She struggled, yet she was redirected by God to reach her dream right now as a flight attendant/ cabin crew. 

Thank you for raising me and supporting me all throughout the years. Thank you for all our shared sentiments, feelings, clothes, makeup, food, and all stuff. Haha. My words will never be enough to express how I am thankful for everything.

I am immensely grateful for her existence in my life. Even my friends loved her. I can’t wait to travel and explore the world with her. I am always here to support you through ups and downs, even in rocky and smooth paths. We are family. I love you so much, sister Marie/ Tine/ Kristine/ Donya Buding! 🌷


HAPPY 26th BIRTHDAY, ATE! ❀

May you be filled with pure love and happiness, coz you deserve it, woman! May all your passion and heart desires overflow. God is always watching and guiding you. Know that there’s no impossible things with Him. God’s love never fails to uphold you and strengthen you. Adulthood will never be an easy journey, but hey! We got each other’s back. Hihi. We love youuuuu! πŸ’



Love,

Nj