653

7 Jul

My flatmates have different duties. I’m just at home. Yes, I knew they are tired and stressed already from their work. As much as possible, I’m pretending to be okay and smile at them. Asked on how’s their day and the follows. Why they are not asking if I’m okay? I’m very stressed honestly while waiting for all my papers to finish. I’ve wasted my money, time and effort. Should have been in Riyadh or Philippines by now if I really fixed my papers fast and wise. I’m blaming myself. I am hurting myself. Sorry, self. Huhu. I wanted someone to comfort me. Thanks to my sister who’s always there for me. Even if she scolded me, she comforted me. I’m not telling anyone my problems, except to my sister. But most of the time I keep it only with myself. I keep on reminding myself that it’s not a big deal, move on, understand the situation, and you will be okay. I keep on fighting my battles alone while pretending I’m fine. As long as I can do it, I will be calm. Putting all my stress into artworks and letters. Keeping that smile. Heads up. 

I will be okay.

God is in control, always 💖

Love,

Nj

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